My Son

My Son

"Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
And where have you been my darling one?"
-Bob Dylan, A Hard Rain's a - Gonna Fall

My blue-eyed son

My dimple cheeked son

My son I should have had

My son I should have been

My illuminated son

The feeble Nyquil high

                Suicidal son

My Crocodile son

My son with blonde hair

                Who is off to war

My son who wept at himself

My bloody handed son.

My conformist son

                Came to Thebes and

                Plucked out both his eyes and is

My son in dreams

My son I'll call Paul

My son will weep at that

My son I'll keep naming Lazarus.

My son, my nothing son

My queer son

My intellectual son

Who died

                Sitting on the backburner of my life.

Patrick Conners Jr